I venture out to the Lightning Gym and am greeted by some quizmaster-like affair, with floors and walls draped in purple and a giant spotlight pinned on a purplish South Parks Kenny lookalike and a greenhaired dude wearing sunglasses indoors

You've already got Fist of Suns and Jodah, but here are some less ubiquitous ones: Echo: Thick-Skinned Goblin Slowly Increasing 1/turn: As Foretold Runes: Runeforge Champion Fist of Suns and Jodah-like: Leyline of Mutation Alchemy, Dragons: Sarkhan, Wanderer to Shiv Pay life instead as Activated Ability: Marshland Bloodcaster Alchemy, cards you don't own 1/turn: Grenzo, Crooked Jailer From Exile 1/turn: Charred Foyer / Warped Space Colorless 1/turn: Darksteel Monolith Creature from exile 1/turn: Tlincalli Hunter Conditional, Cycling: New Perspectives Pay life instead 1/turn: Cramped Vents / Access Maze Additionally, other regular omissions: Flash: Cunning Nightbonder Instants and Sorceries: Voracious Reader Flip Creature spells: Krallenhorde Howler Flip , Honest Rutstein One Giant: Invasion of the Giants Target me
Put a +1/+1 counter on Riku of Many Paths
Virtus the Veiled and Gorm the Great Virtus and Gorm are a pair of partner commanders from Battlebond who will give you a great opportunity to build a flavorful deck
Even those rainbow borders are impressive