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The failure to uphold dress standards has led, the member wrote, to a sad decline in the atmosphere and spirit of the club. He offered an example in which a young man (a Yale law student) was wearing a tee shirt emblazoned in large letters with: Fck Forever. (As the Ivy League feeds on notions like heritage and legacy and tradition, the offense is understandable.) Yales dress code is pretty standard fare for the New York City private club scene: business casuala concept as elusive as the Ivy League admissions processand a byzantine maze of rules about where jeans can and cannot be worn, followed by a call for neat, respectful appearance. But among its starchy Midtown neighbors, the Yale Club has a history of innovative leadership in the face of changing attitudes in dress